The End

Things that have come to an end in my my life....

Many good books

Elementary, Middle, High school

Undergrad 

Masters Program

Giving Birth

Moving to a new town

Bedford

My gallbladder 

Dating

First year of teaching

Kristin

Exercise challenge 

3 Slice of Life Challenges....here's to next year 

There are lots of stories in this list. I need to remember to look back at this list next time I write. 

Fear

K is playing in the living room.

Q is outside with daddy. 

Daddy is cleaning the garage. 

I am enjoying the silence, cleaning veggies and fruits for the week.  

Q comes running in the house screaming, "Mommy, MOMMY, come NOW!"

I dropped the pineapple and knife and went running. Fear running through me. 

What happened?

Why is he yelling for me?

Who is hurt?

How much blood will there be?

Where is my phone to call 911?

I reach the garage with fruit all over my hands to find Q laughing.  "Mommy, daddy is hilarious!"

There's no blood, nobody is hurt, no need to run, no need to worry.  They are only playing. 

Daddy was riding the little power wheels. It was funny enough for Q to scream for me.  

Telling Q never to yell like that again, I went back to my work. 

Missing

A list of things I miss

1. Dad

2. Quiet

3. Good Music

4. Madonna 

5. Babies

6. Friday nights at Sonic

7. Movie Nights

8. Dates with my Husband

9. Sleeping in

10. Mama's Resturant

11. Crusin' with the Girls

12. Mancino's Sub

13. Magic Morning Smiley Cookies

14. Late Night Conversations with Roommates 

15. Random Roadtrips 

Dinner and a Good Book

Tonight, I ate my dinner in the truck along with a good book. The husband, boys and I decided to get our grocery shopping done tonight and have dinner in town. 

As we were leaving the house, the husband said he need to stop at the hardware store. I knew what this meant. I would enjoy some time to myself while daddy and the boys had their fun in the store. I grabbed my book with delight, knowing I may get some quiet to read. 

I was starving and wanted to eat right away. I was on my own, nobody else wanted to join me.  This was my chance.  I talked the husband into getting me take out Chinese before they were shopping.  

They left me in the car with my dinner and book. As I sat there eating, I wondered what people were thinking as I sat there with take out and a book in a parking lot. Oh well, I enjoyed myself!

Is it sad that this has become a common pass time for me? 

Kick, Punch, Bite, Hair Pull, and Laugh

Today was our annual Crisis Prevention training. 

Every year, our school's Crisis team gets retrained for using deescalation and proper holds. Since I am one of the special education teachers, I'm on the team, along with administration, other special education teachers, a kindergarten teacher, and most of the men in our building. There are always lots of kicking, punching, biting, hair pulling, and laughs.  

Today was no different than any other year.  We discuss problems we have had this year, practice the strategies, and laugh about kicking and biting our boss. Really, what other job is it okay to punch or pull your boss' hair?   

As always, I get paired with one of the guys who is significatly taller than me to practice. Thank goodness we change partners after awhile.  Then we have to yell, to use the element of surprise. For those of you who know me, you know I don't yell. I actually made it this year without our instructor making it his mission to make me yell. That was a relief! 

Just a few pictures of my colleagues having fun putting me in a restraint. 

I guess I deserved it.  I did punch her first. 

I tried to fight, but they were just too good. 

Still fighting them. 

Okay, I will be good!  

Getting Motivated......for What?

Have you ever had the feeling that you need to get involved?  Make a difference?  Help someone? Just be involved?

I have had this feeling for about a week now.  I am not sure where it came from, but I want to do something about it. It's  not like I sit back and let everyone else help.  I just feel like there is something more for me. 

I have started some research on a few ideas, but nothing feels right. Over the past few years, I have tried volunteering for different organizations. None of them have been a good fit. 

I don't know what this calling has been this last week, but I am determined to find the place I am suppose to be. 

Realization

Tonight was Q's music program. It is always exciting to go to our school music programs. We are lucky enough to have an amazing music teacher. 

Tonight as we were listening to the program, I realized my little man is seven, he is in first grade, he is growing up. At that moment, I looked over at my mom to see tears in her eyes as she mouthed he is growing up.  Yes he is!!!

I am not sure when this happened, but I am not ready for it. 

Yesterday, I was holding this sweet little man. 

And today this young man woke up nearly as tall as me. 

Just a few pictures from the music program. 

K was searching for Bubby. 

Look how adorable they are!!!!!

Conversations with a Seven Year Old

I love the conversations I have with Q. He always has interesting insights into the world. 

Tonight, we were reading a Black Lagoon book, when he pointed out the differences in his gym teachers.  He even compared them to the character in the Gym Teacher from the Black Lagoon. Hilarious! 

Last night, while reading out of our chapter book, he got frustrated because the character wasn't using  correct grammar. He felt that the author was teaching him really really bad ways to talk. 

One day last week, he decided that now that he is seven he needs to stay up later and his own phone. You could tell he had put thought into the argument.  He had reasons the phone would help us and where the money would come from. 

Each day, I get to drive this amazing little boy to and from school. We get our Mommy and son time, which is always enlightened by intriguing conversations. 

You make me proud to be your mommy.  I love you Qman! 

Sick Day

Yesterday, I woke up feeling drained. I did what I could and that wasn't much. Today, when I got up, I felt worse.  My whole body aches, my throat is scratchy, and I have a cold headache. So, I decided to take the day off. Yes, it's Sunday, but I've done nothing. 

My day in review

7:30 Wake up

7:45 Feed the boys donuts

8:00 Lay down on the couch and watch cartoons with the boys

9:30 Take nap number one 

11:00 Wake up from nap for a nice soak in the jet tub

12:30 Eat a little lunch

1:00 Watch the hubby clean the kitchen (Grateful for that!)

2:00 Nap number two

3:00 Woke up and finished my book 

I am now planning nap number three.  

I AM Right!!

HE thinks HE knows what HE is talking about. 

Little does HE know, HE IS wrong!

Have you ever had a conversation, knowing you are absolutely right? I am not the person who will argue in most occasions, but if I do I generally know I am right. 

It never fails, while watching TV or a movie, HE thinks HE knows who is on the screen. HE will start talking about the actor and what other movies or TV show they see in before. I tell him HE is wrong, then the actor's name. HE won't back down. 

This is when I grab the iPad for Google. (I love Google, when it proves me right). 

You would think after fourteen years, HE would know. 

MoMo

After debating with myself on what to write about tonight, my youngest said, "Mommy wite MoMo."  So, here's to MoMo. 

For those of you who don't know who MoMo is, I will inform you of his importance and magic. 

We welcomed MoMo into our family during Christmas 2012. K didn't have a lovie that he was attached to at the time. He played with two toys a lot, but nothing he would be upset if lost. Santa brought a little MoMo, or Mickey Mouse to us that Christmas. Since Christmas 2012, K and MoMo have been inseparable. 

He now owns six different MoMo stuffed animals, three sets of MoMo jammies, MoMo sheets, MoMo pillow, it feels like 100's of MoMo movies, MoMo coloring books, another 100 MoMo books, and countless other random MoMo items. 

We discovered MoMo's magic last spring, when K fell and got hurt.  In the mix of tears and blood, there was no calming K down, until his brother grabbed MoMo. Once K got MoMo in his hands the tears stopped. It was like magic!  We have witnessed this many times. 

Even with six MoMo's, K still has his favorite.  Yes, we bought a second one just incase something happens to the original. 

Recently, I started planning K's third birthday. I bet you can guess what I planned.  That's right Mickey Mouse. I started second guessing my decision, until tonight. He still isn't feeling 100% after his surgery and had to have his favorite MoMo jammies. I think the MoMo party is just what he needs. 

Rockin' in his favorite MoMo jammies. 

Procrastination

We moved into our new house seven months ago. Since, we moved in everyone who comes to our house notices a picture on our mantle. 

No, this is not our family. 

We bought the picture frame before we had our family pictures taken, then put the frame on the mantle. 

This frame remains on our mantel with this strange family in it, because of my procrastination. 

The procrastination began because our computer wasn't working. I couldn't order the pictures.  Once the computer was fixed, I waited on a new coupon to come out to order pictures.  Now, it is just plain procrastination or laziness. 

Today, I sat with my little sick one in my lap most of the day straight across from that picture frame. I told myself a million times, order those pictures. I never did, because I didn't want to put my little man down. 

Luis, Carmen, Leo, and Tomás are starting to become part of the family.  I'm not sure I can replace them. We may need to buy a new frame. 

Surgery Day

Today was surrey day for K.  He had his adenoids removed or androids as my phone kept autocorrecting. 

Here is a quick snippet of our day. 

5:00AM: Get up 

5:30: Get Daddy and K up

5:35: Hide any food and drinks from K

5:40: Big brother woke up worried about K and followed him around

5:45: Memaw showed up to get Q to a friends for school. Thank You Jen!

5:50: K got new pjs, coloring book, Mickey Mouse book, and bear from Bubby

6:00: Leave for the hospital 

6:30: Arrive at the hospital

6:35: First battle of the day, getting K's hospital bracket on

6:40-7:10: Battles two through 100. Sit on the bed, take your shoes off, undress, put on gown, 

     put on "Cool" hospital socks, relax in bed, keeping bracelet on.  We won six out of seven battles. 

7:00: Memaw arrived at the hospital for K 

7:00: Doctor came to visit 

7:30: Met our nurse. K automatically didn't like her, just because she was wearing scrubs. 

7:40: Met our anesthesiologist. He was great!  He came in and played with K. K liked him right away. 

7:45: Started vitals. K didn't know about this. He watched every move the nurse made, but allowed 

       her to do what she needed. Battle won. 

7:55: Anesthesiologist came to get K. He brought him a cape to fly like a superhero. 

7:58: Mommy cried as The anesthesiologist carried or flew K back the the operating room. 

7:58- 8:28- Sat in the waiting room for the longest 30 minutes, talked to the doctor and waited some 

        more. 

9:00: Finally, got back to see K. When I got back to recovery, I found out amazing anesthesiologist 

        rocking with K. 

9:45: Returned to K's room, where Daddy and Memaw got to come back and see K. Meanwhile, K 

         was sound asleep. 

9:45-10:20: Continuous vitals and sleeping baby. 

10:20: Signed release paperwork and started dressing K. K finally woke up in shock. 

10:30: Headed home. K slept the whole way home. 

11:00: Daddy carried K to cuddle Mommy until 3:00. We even had to roll him over a few times, 

        because he wasn't moving. He was OUT. 

3:00: Sleeping man woke up and drank a cup if juice, made mommy draw three pictures while he 

        directed, had some applesauce. 

3:30: Yet another battle, time to take medicine. Daddy won the victory. Go Daddy!

Now watching some toons and dosing in and out cuddled up against mommy. 

The battle begins.  "No BED!"

Shoing off the backwards cape. Styling!

Letting the nurse get vitals while Memaw holds his hand. Where would we be without Memaw?

Telling the anesthesiologist that they are going to fix his nose. Rotten! 

Flying off to sugary with the AMAZING anesthesiologist. 

Cuddling with the anesthesiologist after a smooth surgery.  Yes, I had to steal K away from him. 

Cuddling with mommy in recovery. We even got to ride back to his room on the bed together. 

After getting dressed and waking up. He was wide-eyed. I'm not sure he had any idea where he was or what was happening at this point. 

Sleeping on the couch at home. 

The nurse, anesthesiologist, doctors, and volunteers were amazing with K!  I can't thank them enough for taking care of my baby!  

Driving Me Up The Wall

Feeling a little anxious and annoyed today. So, I decided to share a few or maybe more than a few things that drive me up the wall.  

- People crunching their food (This is called misophonia. http://www.thekitchn.com/misophonia-the-    unbearable-loud-155746)

- Odd numbers (I don't like my volume on an odd number or my alarm. I know it's crazy.)

- Interrupting me when I am reading. (Can't you see I have a book in my hand?)

- People who flake on plans. 

- Completely fake people. (Stop acting like you care when you don't care at all.)

- Waiting at stoplights. (I know, I have to do this.)

- Straight on parking spots. (You know they drive you nuts, too.)

- People who have to sit next to me at a movie. (Why is when I go to a movie early, then it fills up and 

    the ushers make me move. Not only do I have to move, but then I have to sit beside a stranger.)

- Strangers in my personal space. (You probably got that from the previous comment.)

- Being late. (You have a clock.  USE IT!!)

I should probable stop there, before you think I'm crazy.  Maybe it's too late. Oh well...

I Am Not

I decided to write an I Am Not poem rather than an I Am poem.

I am not tall and loud

I do not wonder why I am teaching

I do not want another snow day

I am not tall and loud

I do not like to touch seaweed

I do not pretend to know everything

I am not tall and loud

I do not cry over boys anymore

I do not understand selfish people 

I am not tall and loud

I do not try to be somebody I am not

I do not hope to fast forward time

Date Night

Last night, I was privileged enough to go on a date with the sweetest most handsome seven year old redhead. 

We had a mommy and son date, that we haven't had in months.  We got tickets to the high school musical and dinner in town. 

We left the house in time to go to a BBQ place in town, but Q changed his mind on the way to town. He decided he wanted Dairy Queen.  There was lots of interesting conversations at dinner. I learned so much about this seven year old. We ride to school together every day, but he was really talkative last night. 

Dinner with my little man. 

Waiting for "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" to start. 

A first at the carwash

Have you been in a modern carwash?  You know the one you pull in and sit as the sprayer goes around you.  This is something I do regularly.

Today, I decided my truck needed cleaning. So, I talked my hubby into stopping at the carwash. 

While at the carwash, I learned that this is a first for him.  Keep in mind we have been married for nearly eleven years and dated for four before that. Really, he has never been in an automatic carwash. 

He spent his time waiting inspecting every bit of the facility and timing the cars as they went through. Once we got into the carwash, he began sharing his wonderings.

I wonder how many RPMs the fan blower uses. 

I wonder how often they clean those fans.

I wonder what the CFM is per fan.

I wonder why they use differnt colors in the soap. 

These were not my wonderings, since I have no idea what any of this means. I was wondering how a 36 year old man has made it this long and never been in the automatic carwash. 

I loved this for two reasons.  One I never get to see this side of him and two our boys were inspecting this carwash as well. I was happy to share this first with him and excited that our boys got to see daddy's wonderings. 

Remembering this event from just an hour ago is making me smile. 

Stepping out of my comfort zone

I don't have a good view of myself.  I have struggled with this for as long as I can remember. Even though I recently lost 20 pounds, I still don't feel like I can change my wardrobe.  I am told I hide in my baggie clothes. 

So, some friends and I went on a girls weekend a few weeks ago.  While we were shopping they talked me into buying a new outfit.  This outfit was so NOT me.  The shirt was bright and the pants were tight.  I wore the outfit out that night to dinner and the comedy show, then hung it up in my closet. 

Since that weekend, they have each asked me why I haven't worn the outfit. I have tried to explain my true feelings and thoughts on why it is hanging in my closet. By coincident, last Friday, it was a topic of conversation after I sliced about being accepted for me.  I was afraid they would think I had sliced about them. 

Anyway, this morning I decided I would wear the outfit. As I got ready and left my house I was nervous. I didn't look in the mirror and even grabbed an extra outfit (just in case I could not go through with it).   When I got to my mom's to drop little man off, I asked mom and my brother (who I know will be brutally honest) what they thought of the outfit. They thought I was crazy for second guessing my outfit. Then my mom proceed in lecturing me on how I should dress like this more often and to stop hiding in my baggie clothes. 

Once I got to school, I was greeted with lots if compliments from the friends who talked my into the outfit, other collegueas, and students. I was still shocked every time someone made a comment about it. At the end of the day, a friend who would never comment on my clothes told me to stop wearing the "big" clothes and stick with this outfit. 

I am still unsure of the outfit, but maybe I will give it another try.  

That's me on the right. The other two are two wonderful women, who inspire me to grow. They are my Basty (inside joke).  I love you ladies! 

Wrapped in a Hug

My dad passed away five and a half years ago. I miss his hugs, advice, jokes, acceptance, love, laugh, caring, voice, smell, even his crunching of food (if you know me, you know this is huge). 

I hear his voice in many ways.  

Every times I drive, I hear him telling me to put my leg down.  Explaining how unsafe it is and he doesn't want me to get hurt. 

Every time my youngest giggles, I can hear his laugh.  I see the tears rolling down his cheeks from his laughter. 

Every time my husband eats something crunch, I hear his loud crunch of his favorite chips. The memory of wanting to scream because of the sound. 

Every time IU plays basketball, I hear him yelling at the TV.  I can see his passion for his Hoosiers. 

Every time my mom makes spaghetti, I see his plate of spaghetti noodles with no sauce. He had to stay away from anything that would cause heartburn. 

This past Christmas my mom surprised my brothers and I with a special gift. Together we opened our individual boxes. This was a very special gift. Mom had saved my dad's shirts to be made into blankets for each one of us. I will admit I had sat with my blanket wrapped  around me several times since Christmas. Every time I feel like my dad is hugging me.  

The whole blanket.  It brings back so many memories of dad.  I am so thankful that my mom thought to do this for my brothers and I. 

Somehow every time I look at this portion of the shirt, I can smell dad's cologne. 

He loved his job. This shirt reminds me of the passion he had for sharing the word of god. 

I think more than half his wardrobe was camp shirts. Why not?  He loved this place. 

Oh the bleach spots.  I am so happy that this shirt made it into the mix. In the summers dad ended up ruining his shirts from working. It would just not be dad's shirts if a shirt like this was not included. 

From the time I was a little girl, for Father's Day I would buy him a shirt similar to this. It became a tradition. This was the last Father's Day shirt I was able to give him. 

Yet another camp shirt.  This one is special, because this was from his last summer. I got the chance to spend extra time with him this summer and we created lots of memories. 

What to write?

It is day 12 and I am stuck!

I have all kinds of ideas running through my mind, but nothing will come out of my fingers. There is some kind of disconnect between what is flying through my brain and what will form on this screen. 

So, here is the random list of ideas that are flying around up top. 

- Yesterday's comments from a friends about hatred. 

- K's upcoming surgery

- Snow days

- Finishing a book

- My new book " Surviving the Angel of Death"

- Making new friends

- Decorating the house

- Habits

- Developing a backbone

- Letting go of what I can't control

Maybe tomorrow one of these ideas will form into a slice.